#Lifeless Saturday

Stars:


I wonder if you are still reading?
But im still continue my story.

Had a continuous dream about you again.
A weird one...
Maybe this dream will never come true.
#Dreams #Wishes #hallucinating


Went to the market this morning again.
Sooo Soo tired.
Have to drag myself up... without any choice.


Finish market,
and unpack grocery.
and went back to sleep.
Feeling so tired, strengthless and helpless.
My sister force me to take medicine, because i rejected...
I broke down again..
Everytime i feel helpless, i breakdown...
Wishing you were here...
Someone scolding me...
Someone being angry with me...


Accompany my sister to her concert at Clarke Quay.
Getting myself drenched and i fell down...
What a way to start a fruitful trip...
Get  a view of Clarke Quay Clubs and Restaurant.
Nice place :D
Feeling really tired when my sister enter her concert hall.
I went back home...
And i broke my sister's shoe AGAIN!
Finding myself forget the keys and no one is at home...


WHAT A DAY!~


Went to my mom's place for shelter...
Really have no strength to loiter anymore.
Bad health!~
Everything is not going my way.
Aunt got me my RUM RAISIN ICE  CREAM!~
NOM NOM~
Forced myself to finish it, this time round...



I don't know why am i still so pessimistic about you.
I can choose to put you down.
But i just cannot do it.
Everything i do, i will think of you.
People saying im stupid...
Asking me to give up...
But im still clinging on...
I suppose there are reason behind it...
I just just hope we were fine till now.
I choose to give up in the beginning because i dont want to be a choice of yours.
Sigh pie....
Just one sided again.


If everything could rewind...
maybe all of this will not happen.
Rather keep it all silence and let the feeling fade.
It was suppose to be like that, aint??
Just keep it one sided from the start till the end...


NOW you just telling me you are not worth after you started it.
Just what are you thinking?~
You dont know how well im able to read your words ?
Im sorry then...

#TGIF

Stars:

 

#TGIF

But its a black friday.

SO the first thing that was bad is i was late for my appointment.

Have to get change and rush out.

And spent money on taxi :(

So dental appointment was quick fast.

Pink and Black (I like the colour.)


After braces appointment,
i went to the clinic near my mom's office.
Got the medicine i want.
But the diagnosis did not went well.
Because im not sure what im having.
Ok. Forget it.
Maybe just my physco feelings.
SO i dont bother to go for further check-up.

Went for my first bucket list treats
Cold Stone.
Had Cookie Mintster alone #Sad

 

 

Always had this habit of not finishing my ice-cream.

also dont know want leave for who.

Sigh pie.

But the ice cream was great :D

And i gotten myself 2 jeans because the old one are seriously oversize :(

Now im home.

#Home Sweet Home.

I keep feeling bad towards Xx.

~Had a weird dream last night... and feel breatheless all night...
Just cannot breathe right...

#Childish for life

Stars:

Chem II module today.
Was a brief for me.
Just recap of Sem 1 lesson.


Biochemistry UT was screwed i guess.
Not confident....


OMFG!!!~
Im so childish hahas.
I never felt so childish in my life.
I had all my first time for you.
First time hating a girl so much.
First time doing all the crazy thing.
WTH!~
This is sure love for me.
But sigh pie...
It was just a game for you.
You like it, you play.
You tired of it, you throw it aside...


And the girl from my Sem 1.
I cannot tank her sia....
I though it was just my biase view.
But it ended up being true.
Thanks for verifying my eyes.
I can see people heart and soul well.
Maybe this is my gift from god.
But it ended up torturing me...


Going for check up tomorrow. Hope my diagnosis would go well...
Getting medicine again...
Never leave medicine behind my life...
IF the gift was to help people...
I think i did my best...
But god,
can i request for a little bit more time to complete my list ?
Please???

#Sick

Stars:

Missed school today.
Because i was really sick and tired.
Went to doctor in the noon to get Medical Certificate and Medicine.
Shit. i cannot get the medicine i want because i didnt bring my report along.
Gahh...
So lazy to go for doctor on friday again...
Hate having medicine.
Dread of having it.


Today marks the 27th.
If we are still together.
It will mark our 3rd monthsary.
Sigh pieee...
and another 7 days to our 100th day...
*Why am i still counting...
Seeing you moving on was a great thing for you.


Wish for "Luna" companion...
The one i wish i had...
The one who will always be there for me until she grows old.
Sigh pie...


Not motivated to study ....
UT tomorrow...
Life sucks.
School, Sick, Sucks.
the 3S...


How i wish Xx was you.
Really! I dont want him to be a substitute.
How can i prevent it ?
I dont want to hurt him...

Tired, Sick, PMS!~ i'm just a attention seeker.

Stars:


Molecular and Cell Biology Module Today.
Revision of what i learnt in secondary school.
So the lesson was manageable.
But really had a bad day since yesterday.
Grouping problems...
Family issues.
Every single shit is just my fault.
I hate being myself, looking perfect but fragile inside.


Grouping was a big issue.
Early morning tio scolding from ******.
Really "made" my day.
Stress for every single shit.
Sad for every single thing.
Im just sick and tired of living.
Fell sick again when i just recover last week.


I hate being who i am.
I hate being pill puppet.
I just want to end every single thing.
I want you to hug me, telling me everything is gonna be fine.
But that was just a dream.
Passing each other without calling out.
I hate that ----, everywhere anywhere i feel ---- presence.
Sigh...
Jealousy kills.


Xx is just too nice to me, until i dont know what to feel.
I just dont feel the same to him like i do to you.


Presence of JJ, make me secure.
Though he is just a friend.
But he's someone who tell me everything.
He has plans, everything...


Sigh... feeling so sick and tired of life.
But i got no where to go... for a rest.

Moodswing ...

Stars:

Cognitive module today.
Lesson was fine with the relief facilitator again...
Was so trouble.
Yet no one to confide.
Class matter - because of a f****** group,
everyone was so troubled...

Ended school early,
and have to wait for the clique,
end up raining.
IM SO PISSED!
(MOOD SWING MAX)


PLUS HAVING HEADACHE!
Still need fetch my cousin and buy stuffs home.
( ADD FUEL ONLY)


SISTER came home.
AND NO PEACE AGAIN!
WHY everytime must create such a trouble for me ?
im tired of all this...
Giving me breatheless moment again...


God, can you please take me away?
Im tired living on this earth.
I want to breakdown yet i dont have a shoulder.
I want to vent my anger, yet i dont have a partner.
I want to speak my mind to you, yet you are not by my side.
SCREW UP LIFE!~

- Stuffy feeling in my chest once again...
~ Popping pills every single day...
- I still have lots of uncompleted wishes-

Missing you is the most terrible feeling ever...

Stars:

Have you been reading my blog?
I hope you are still at it...

Was out in the afternoon to get some stuffs.
And Samsung service was really terrible.
Why do you need the code for the phone?
It's just the charger problem...
Which part of it do you not understand ???
Got myself a mouse because my mouse spoilt :(


Was like happy for a moment when i receive your snapchat.
Though it wasnt meant for me ...
I really want to know what are you thinking?
But i was kept in the dark for the whole entire period...
The scene keep repeating in my mind.
Your presence linger around me.
The appearance of your name everywhere i go..
Your resemblence keep appearing everywhere.
It's like kanna possessed.


I want to call you "mine" again.
I want to feel your lips and breathe against mine.
I want to cuddle you.
I miss every parts of you being in my life.
But all of this dissappear throughout a night.


-I miss you, i want you, i need you -

Ewww. Gross

Stars:

Wasn't home for 3days.
And finally back home today.
The most disgusting thing i have met today.
Centipede.
Ew...
At the feet of mine.
Cannot imagine if it bites me.
But maybe can fulfil my wish of being ....
Gross max.
Still feeling the tickling feeling at my feet.


Happy 18th Birthday Xx.
You did a great job at yesterday Brat games.
Thanks for bring glory to SAS..


Father is back from his malaysia trip.
He gotten us pandora bracelet.
Love him.
Advance Christmas present from him :D




























Had a dream about you...
was so awkward dream.
Such a stupid dream.


Why dont you talk to me directly ?
You left so many doubts...
Remember Luna ?
The meaning behind it...

Just not thinking...

Stars:

Had BioChemistry module today.
Had a relief facilitator.
And got really lost in today's problem...

Morning took 187 with Minyi.
And saw a guy.
He was like my "eyecandy" of the day.
We were trying to snap a picture of him.
And was so funny, until i drool... :P

Class celebrates Xx's Birthday together inn advance.
Gotta conned him out to prepare.
Break time , bought a slice of cake for him.
Another surprise from me and Minyi.
And the most funny thing is that,
his friend jumped onto him,
and his cake dropped on the floor.
His reaction was like "so funny"
Passed him his present.
Hope he can fit into that Tee.

Written 4 RJ's today.
So tired....
Furthermore, fell sick again.
Hate it.
How long more i have left?
I dont know...
Gotten fat again...
Munch Munch Munch.
Gotta control my diet.
Too much treats recently.

B*tch please.
Don't so desperate can anot?
Step close only.

* I really dont know what to feel.
Everytime an unexpected meet-up.
Everytime an indirect message left.
Fate or what?

Easily replaceable..

Stars:


Didnt sleep well last night.
Did not go home...
Chemistry II module today.
Today lesson was manageable.
At least i understand...

Did the most ridiculous thing today.
Im sorry if i enter your life again...
I dont know why im clinging on this time round.
Normally i would give up and move on.
But you are really different in my heart.
But im just a piece of paper with pencil written words in your heart.
Easily eraseable by an eraser.
It like a delete button on your keyboard.
You wanna delete and you just tab on it.


Trying not to give myself too much hope.
But my heart keep opposing me..
If you are happy the way you are now...
let it be...
as long as you are happy...
I dont mind...

Another restless day...

Stars:

Another restless and tiring day at school.
Woke up later than usual today.
Wanted to take bus.
But seemed like cannot make it.
And we switched back to MRT again.
Breakfast was in a rush.
Had lab session today.
But became a chit-chat session with friends.
So dead...
hahas. got carried away...
-If someone doesnt care, they would bother speaking about you in their lives-


Lesson was manageable today...
Super tiring...
And super angry about something...
The only reason my heartbeat skips,
it's all about you...
I only feel energetic talking about you.
I hate someone invade your privacy without permission.
Especially "you know who".
Hate it damn much...
MINE IS MINE! DONT TOUCH WITHOUT MY PERMISSION!~

Horrible, Terrible, Vegetable feelings....

Stars:

Molecular and Cell Biology Module today.
Thought i would have a hard time understanding it.
Because of Xx's words.
But end up, it was manageable . ^^
Manage to understand the problem.
Had moodswing in between lessons.
Really bad, my classmates were restless too...
Almost broke down in classes today.
I really dont know why i did so much for you,
and you misuse it oftenly.
But i still repeat the mistake again.
As your sister, i cant standby i do nothing.


Wenxin treat me to ice cream to lift up my mood.
Help for a moment...
But that was just my theory...
Back to many thoughts again...
So tired....
Feeling breathless again with nose irritation.
I dont know how much time i have left...
I just hope there will be no regrets.


Did not want to trouble  you again.
Trying to push you away again.
Always standing alone, thinking that i would able to survive through.
Even though friends are around, there are still secrets among us indivuduals.
Trust is so  hard to establish..
Everyone has a secrets on it's own.
It is either remain unriddle or riddle.
But who is the one going to expose it?

Wavered heart...

Stars:

Had Cognitive Module today.

Had a relief teacher for the day.

Because my facilitator was admitted in the hospital for unknown reason..

THis facilitator is gonna relief us for two lessons.

Im so gonna be dead.

So unproductive today.

Oh gosh...

And camwhore with my lovely classmates.

 

 

Xx got me my ice cream today. Thanks..

Thanks for doing everything to keep me happy.

Did cheer up for that moment.

I miss you doing RJ with me. Hearing my nags and nonsense.

Guiding my RJs, my quiz.

Every single thing you did with me.

Unproductive day

Stars:

Went to the market as my saturday routine as usual.
Hate it cos i have to wake up early.


Went for afternoon movie alone.
Movie Title: 3 peas in pod
Review: Average, the twist was so unexpected. Worth catching it.


I think this is the first time i caught a NC16 movie after i turned 16.
The feeling was so awesome.


Unproductive day to study. !~
Should get motivated for tomorrow plans.

#Lifeless

Stars:

My life is really lifeless, colourless without him.
#Bored in the morning.
Today is a lonely friday.
Friends are not in school today.
#All alone.


#Waiting for my classmate for breaking at canteen now.
Need to lit up my friday.

Plan for the day:
1) School
2) 3.30pm (End school)
3) Family stuffs and dinner
4) RJ and start my revision!~


#BORED DAY AHEAD!~
#BIOchemistry today~

Stay home day~

Stars:

Off campus learning on Molecular and Cell Biology today.
Topic was quite manageable.
RJ was a total crap.!~


Luckily i have this guy companion.
He is always there for me.
Whether im feeling down,
Whether im trouble.
Everything and anything.
He is there.
He treat me right.
But sadly i have no feeling for him.


Your presence still linger around me.
I will not say i will wait.
But you know the feeling is still there~

Depressed

Stars:

Time has been really bad.
Especially i have nothing to do.
I will start to think rubbish.


Luckily i have long weekend due to off-campus learning.
And i have a companion.
Thanks for being there for me when im down.
Thanks for everything you did.
I really appreciate your companion and listening ear.


It's really hurting to hear from you.
But it's the only reason for me to give up.
Ain't?
I love you and i really do.
But i lose youover a night.
I want to forget you like i did in the past.
But you meant too much to me.

Full of doubts

Stars:

Awake at 6.15am.
Wash up and prepare for my volunteer session at Marine Life Park.
Gain new experience today.
Was stationed at the touchpool, open panal as well as the Rocky Shore.


After my volunteer session,
trained down to Bugis to find my sister as well as wifey.
Was feeling so sick and tired.
Everything went so wrong.
I took the longer route.
Sigh pie.
Got some of my clothing and a shoe.
After that head down to orchard.
Wrong way again :(
What's on my mind?

 

 

Why? No one understand how i feel.
I just need someone to support my decision.

Dilemma and Full of Questions

Stars Stars:

Microbiology module today.
Problem was manageable.
RJ was manageable too.
Some times dont judge a book by its cover :P
Moodswing the whole day.
No strength to move.
Feel like falling dead just like that.
But there are too much to be left undone.


I cannot feel your thoughts.
I want to feel you like before.
Without any strength.
I can know what you are thinking.
I love you and that all i really know.
I want to feel you against my breathe.


~I dont know how much im going through...
But i hope this time round,
we will standby each other and walk through

Exhausting

Stars:

Molecular and cell biology module today.
Lesson was manageable and understandable.
Tiring day i shall say.

Did not feel well for the entire day.
End my day in pain.
Still have to endure to get stuffs for family.

Why do you look like you are not affected?
im in bad dilemma.
I want you back,
but looking back at your status,
i withdraw back the thought.
One is better than two.
I rather ownself being torture than both of us.
Let me take the pain.
Let me immune to the pain.
Let you be what you want to be.
I believe you will do fine without me.

我伤了，我痛了

Stars：

我希望终有一天你会看清，
我对你的好，是出之内心，
我对你的好，不有所回报。
我只是想要你好好的爱我。
但你心里的那个始终不是我。


对你的思念，想念，拥抱，
无法在一朝一夕中消失/ 忘记。


我只是想让你知道，我曾经爱过你。
现在还是，
对不起，因为我爱你，我对你的期盼，因此更高。


放了你，让你获寻你的自由。
让你寻找值得你爱的哪一个，
那个你愿意为了她而牺牲的哪一个。
我会在远方祝福你。

 

找不到人说心里的寂寞

找不到人懂怕黑的折磨

找不到命中注定在一起的

那个人

很多人都像我  一个人过生活

Chorus:

爱只有简单笔画　
ai zhi you jian dan bi hua
却比想像复杂
que bi xiang xiang fu za
恨安定爱变化　我爱过几个人
hen an ding ai bian hua wo ai guo ji ge ren
也被爱过几遍　却还是没能
ye bei ai guo ji bian que hai shi mei neng
将幸福留下
jiang xing fu liu xia

爱是不可数的吗　
ai shi bu ke shu de ma
为何我还相信　
wei he wo hai xiang xin
它不是独行侠　我在等一个人
ta bu shi du xing xia wo zai deng yi ge ren
在等我的永恒　告诉我爱不
zai deng wo de yong heng gao su wo ai bu
单行别害怕
dan xing bie hai pa

用不完身边泛滥的自由
yong bu wan shen bian fan lan de zi you
开始怕孤单是一种诅咒
kai shi pa gu dan shi yi zhong zu zhou
羡慕我能飞的人为何在天黑
xian mu wo neng fei de ren wei he zai tian hei
以后
yi hou
还是宁愿回到　
hai shi ning yuan hui dao
爱情那个枷锁
ai qing na ge jiasuo

Repeat Chorus X 2


我在等一个人　在等我的永恒
wo zai deng yi ge ren zai deng wo de yongheng

告诉我爱不单行相信她
gao su wo ai bu dan xing xiang xin ta

Boring Sunday~

Stars:

Spend my sunday doing nothing.
Thoughts flow down like a river.
What you said to me...
What u made the effort doing status game.
You said i cant read your mind.
But actually i can...
If you know the story behind everything.
Would you still give up so easily?
Will you ever try getting me back?
Our love is just too fragile...


Story behind everything.
Knowing the truth, would hurt, aint?
you thought less and less of me?
Is that the truth?
If that the case,
i have nothing much to say.
One-sided love remains.
Returning the key to my heart?
So who is going to be the next owner who own my heart?


~I just want to let you know, i love you...
Losing you wasn't the right choice,
but it makes you gain back your freedom.
Lessen a burden. Lessen your worries.

Losing you over a night~

Stars:

Went to the market this morning .
A saturday routine~
Went out in the afternoon with my parents.
And got a denim shorts from uniqlo ^^
Finally~

I lost you over a night.
Did i do the right thing?
But it seems like a stone lifted up from my heart after i did it.
虽然不舍得，但我必要这么做。
为了爱你，而承受哪么多，又得不到我想要的，好痛苦啊！~
我承担不起！~
我用另一个方式来爱你。
那就是放手。

你指向远方爱情很晴朗

笑问不如今后就我们俩

怕泪会反光钻进你胸膛

但那不是感动是泪无法储藏

把美梦锁上以为是天堂

羽翼折起在你身边静静躺

却只能用目光空中翱翔

还得乔装安份靠在你肩膀

放了爱

为了爱

这不是我

该怎麼生活

放了爱

你说你喜欢我笑得开朗

你越温柔我越不想撒谎

我已办不到你想要的那样

客气地配合你我感觉更勉强

别人的幸福何必要模仿

心不在何苦留躯壳在身旁

加满自由我要无重量飞翔

就算以分离收场

放了爱

为了爱

这不是我

该怎麼生活

放了爱

会明白有种拥有

叫作放手

我的心为爱流离失所

紧握最后回家的线索

等到寻获真正的我

证明我决定没有错

放了爱

为了爱

这不是我

想要的生活

放了爱

你会明白

有种拥有

叫作放手

放了爱

我放了爱

Tired of everything~

Stars:

Wanting to start afresh in my polytechnic life.
But everything just cocked up.
There are so many questions in my heart.
All the things i do, is it worth it?


What have i done wrong?
I did everything i can, as long it is within my limit.
What did i owe you ?
In previoud life?
Am i your puppet?
Why must i do whatever you say to please you ?
Why do you have to chase me out everytime?
Is our relationship that fake?
Want severe our relationship just like that ?


 How many disappointment am i getting from you?
I really dont want you to make choices.
Should i just let go?
Really have a tough time holding on.
And i have no status in your heart.
Just because im your girl, you need to take responsible ?
I dont want that .

~Im so tired of everything.